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whatsamattataal

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Posts: 2
Reply with quote  #1 
When is it time to move on from a guru? I would like to hear about experiences others have had in dealing with their guru's being stingy with material, favoring other pupils in what or how much they teach, focusing mainly on their own compositions, admonishments from learning elsewhere, excessive requests for favors, out of control egos, going off topic about life, philosophy, etc, dragging material out over several weeks or months, or anything at all that might add to this this thread.

I know in one of David's books he talks about the conflict of interest in a maestro teaching, as they are essentially training their own competition. Not that just anyone could surpass their guru, but does this thinking still pervade and/ or trickle down so that teachers don't freely teach some students who CAN learn? I know this isn't the most positive topic, but as we can and often do, devote so much of our time, effort, faith and money to our guru's I think it's a relevant question to ask.

So that this doesn't devolve into just a "gripe" session, I am ESPECIALLY INTERESTED IN HOW YOU HAVE DEALT WITH these types of (or other) situations; whether there was a constructive way you could address them (to a person you are supposed to respect and not question), or if moving on was the only option.

Thanks
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Lars

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Posts: 1,452
Reply with quote  #2 
Wow, my night for the tabla forum I guess. More important is how you choose a Guru/teacher, I took years to do it. A true Guru doesn't look for disciples or wear a tshirt and does not hold back from teaching. Bloated egos and being threatened by learning other material are a warning sign. I know of only one tabla teacher (personal experience only, not generalizing) that I would recommend due to all the issues you mentioned. It's the toughest thing in the world to find the real thing, many never do find it and I count my blessings and hope you sort it all out. Just my 2 cents worth and good luck to you.

Lars

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trippy monkey

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Posts: 4,281
Reply with quote  #3 
How do you know if/when a guru is doing all the things you mention in your first paragraph???

Nick
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whatsamattataal

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Posts: 2
Reply with quote  #4 
@ Nick - I initially misunderstood your question so I am editing this response (sorry). I suppose if you don't know about and are happy with your situation there is not really a reason to ask such questions and you can be thankful. However, since I felt a need to make such a post lets assume for the sake of discussion that the less obvious conditions I described do exist for some.

W
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trippy monkey

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Posts: 4,281
Reply with quote  #5 
W
No probs at all.
I do agree as I know of some situations that could be better but all you can do is sit it out sometimes.

Nick
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hbajpai

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Posts: 892
Reply with quote  #6 
How do you know when to quit your job?
How do you know when to break-up a relationaship?
How do you know when to run for the mountains?

You know!

The question is - should you? Or how to execute the departure? Or when to execute the departure?

Don't make it an emotional decision. Make it a logical decision. Seek advise from both, uninvolved and involved parties. Be fair!

At the end, both parties will find a replacement and get over it.
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